Hello marysdaughter: I noticed this is your first post here on PC. Welcome to Psych Central. 
You mentioned you're elderly. And you asked if anyone has any answers to your lack of a sustained long-term relationship. Unfortunately, I don't believe I do. However here are links to 5 articles, from Psych Central's archives, that may be of interest:
Senior Dating: A Healthy Choice
Dating Later in Life
Finding Love after 60
Single Women over 50 – What's it Like to Date
12 Depression Busters for Seniors
I hope you find PC to be of benefit. 
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"I may be older but I am not wise / I'm still a child's grown-up disguise / and I never can tell you what you want to know / You will find out as you go." (from: "A Nightengale's Lullaby" - Julie Last)
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