My Support Forums - View Single Post - How to get out of a bad relationship (friendship)

Buffy01 · Dec 26, 2019 at 11:56 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Emily Fox Seaton

So, I am pretty skidish with guys because I do not want to get trapped in a bad relationship. But, with women I am usually pretty laid back. Unfortunately I find myself in a bad relationship with a woman at work.

She has the office next to mine and we are sort of alone together in a section of the building. I don't feel like I was crazy to make friends with her... I was just nice and eventually I saw her as someone who could help me avoid talking to other people. So we started going to the cafeteria and leaving at the same time.

The problem started when I started seeing her true nature.

1. Where I work there is a "mindset" that I thought I had left with other co workers. It is a toxic mindset. She has it. I starts with the "oh I am so busy" though, they are not. It continues on to an inability to work with computers and a weird obsession with one IT person. But the worst part... is trying to ruin it for everyone else. Always looking to see what others are doing and Narc on them.

2. All of this toxicity comes from her jealousy of others.
a. she constantly talks about how busy she is... but forgets she takes off at least 1 day per week in leave time -- while most don't.
b. she constantly is jealous of my "free time" since she has an elderly parent, but forgets I already had my free time.
c. she HATES someone who has an office near us but never says a word to her.. of course...she couldn't hate her if she ever confronted her... because she would be wrong. She hates this woman for no reason.
d. All of the drama she is jealous of others for -- she could change -- she just won't.

I would drop her like a hot potato but, I face this..

a. when I thought she was my friend I said things I wouldn't want repeated.
b. I have to work with her and so we will have to communicate.
c. No matter how much I avoid her.. she comes to find me.. I am pretty sure she senses I am trying to move away.

So how do I get away. I checked and she isn't facing retirement for 3 + years.

I'm sorry that you are struggling right now and that you have to go through this. As soon as you can find another job.