It's unfortunate, but often we can make efforts to experience a relationship with another person and it just doesn't work out. This other woman sounds like she is very insecure and lacks in social skills. Sometimes a person can say they are busy when they are not really adjusted yet to working and dealing with their own personal challenges. Busy can mean coming to work stressed out and struggling to focus on the job and being able to handle whatever work load is there. Also, this woman may not be intune with the current technology given that she had stopped working for a while to have children and is trying to re-enter the world of working that has changed while she was out of the work force. Things have changed pretty significantly in the just past few years alone.

Sometimes people have so much going on in their lives they just don't do well when it comes to engaging others and adding someone else into their already full and stressful life. She probably is not very computer savoy and constantly deals with feeling inadequate which is why she clings to that IT person. Sometimes a person creates drama when they struggle with anxiety. Some people don't know what to do with stress and can vent it out on anyone they encounter because they genuinely don't know how to get a sense of actual relief in a healthy way.

Given that you shared that your work place can be toxic, for anyone new or is behind on their skills, that can become a real challenge. Maybe this person just can't be a "friend" to you like you want. It's very possible that her home life is such that she already has too much on her plate. If she is in her sixties, that can be scary and a time when a person is facing a steady decline of an aging parent can be pretty scary. Life can sure hand us challenges we are just not ready to handle no matter how old we are.