I’m very glad after having a conversation with my mum yesterday and giving steps to go closer to my siblings.
I’ve been living hard years worried about this part of my life. Somehow I’ve been feeling in the last place within my relatives group. It hurt so much. I avoid having a deeper connection other than the one you can have with an acquaintance. The main reason to feel like that were my psychological issues. I’ve spend nights where I woke up and began to think about this problem and couldn’t come back to sleep.
It’s normal. You feel unwelcome and you try to avoid being in that situation because you don’t want to be in pain.

I used a lot the word “feel” because it’s very particular, very subjective. I’m aware of one thing is how you may feel and a different thing is how reality is.

Said all that, again I’m glad because I could clear things up with my mum and I learnt everyone has his own view but none of these views are the absolute reality.
Taking into consideration how the other person may perceive a particular issue is very important to reach a more comprehensive and close to reality view as much as we may think the reality is on our part.