I’m not a person who is avoidant per se or whose avoidance is part of his personality. I’m more influenced by my anxiety phobia and insecurities but yes, it still makes any step forward more difficult.
It’s hard to feel and consider yourself a faulty individual but in the end you have to understand that this is the way you see yourself and it’s unfair. Noone deserves this punishment.
And as you said, the more you believe your own paranoia, the further you are gonna feel from the people that count for you and the worse you are gonna be.