I agree with Sarahsweets. If my husband had a secret relationship going on where he skyped and on the sly met up with a woman, no matter how long we had been together, I would most likely want to leave. I couldn't trust him anymore. But that's just me. There should be no secrets, especially of this nature, within a marriage. That's very hurtful, and how do you know if they haven't slept together? Do you know how many times they've met up? Do you know if he's in fact having an affair? I am sure it's unimaginable the thought of leaving... but your husband is expressing doubts, he's confided in another woman that you've grown apart for years, and he's met up with this other woman and speaks with her frequently on the sly. You cannot force someone to want to stay and work on a marriage. It sounds like he's already out the door. Perhaps you should start thinking that way too.