Hello again,
I feel big gratitude because of your compliment about my modest knowledge and wisdom, I feel kinda satisfied, I contributed small notes and Remarques in order to help u find out who you really are, and it seems that my small contribution was helpful and especially meaningful to you.

Your last letter was clear, direct, in which you answered all my questions, and u shed light on points I got confused about last time.
( sexual arousal, sex desire) their meaning for you and what they represent for you According to your gender dysphoria that it was diagnosed genderless.
-small review: genderless is a person with no sex identity no he neither she, free from sexual desire towards both genders + the willing of getting a particular physical aspect that it doesn't look like a woman nor like a man, pretty closer to your female body.
Also you talked about the touching and what it represents for you, and let me tell you it was very useful to me.
You said things while u were clarifying to me, and as a usual I picked em up and used them as keys may these keys would be useful to help us figure out the issue, (gender dysphoria).
Before I talk about the key words, I want to clarify one thing,
In order to get the best diagnosis this requires the interference of so many factors and may require big corporation on ur behalf, braveness, being more open,
I'm not saying u not open, u are open indeed and have a courage,
May be the role of extracting answers and information from u it doesn't only consists on you, it consists on the listener, or the therapist... And it may includes some techniques, choosing the right specified questions, and qualification.
So there would be no accurate diagnosis, the therapist is like a builder or a mason, he's gonna build something for you according to what u provide for him! (An architectural plan, Money, materials,...) of course his achievement in the end it depends on his skills and experience in his domain, skills and experience differ from a builder to another one! From therapist to therapist
Before I talk about the key words in your letter I must talk about the subconscious,
The subconscious is a metaphor for a storehouse of tests precipitated by psychological repression, as it does not reach memory. The subconscious contains the internal motors, pictures, memories, and stimuli of behavior, as well as the seat of sexual and psychological instinctive energy in addition to held back experiences.
Key number1:
-Without you notice you said that: you don't have penis it was hard for u to learn when your body gets aroused, men bodies have big reaction...till here everything is normal,
Till u said: but in WOMEN is not clear, at a least not for ME ( subconsciously you consider yourself women).
Key number2:for me, sexual arousal usually doesnt lead to sex (maybe masturbation if i really feel like it).
Obviously here there could be a need has to be fulfilled and satisfied by masturbation replacing the sexual intercourse. Your biological system play its role, as you have period, may be you get wet also when you have sexual arousal, I'm sure you do.
Key number3:When i have a feeling that the touch becomes erotic (especially by boys) i suddenly get stiffen or contracted. I also kind of stop breathing and i feel a big rush of anger in my mind.
What makes a DUMMY gets ANGRY when they touch her erotically??! Dummy should not feel aroused, or stimulated when they touch her erotic places, as it won't feel angry either!
obviously her in your subconscious there is internal conflict inside you, and the story of CSA makes sense and influenced on your gender dysphoria.
The medical analysis regarding hormones level test in your body believe me it help a lot,
Coz the human is psychological system divided in 3 parts by Sigmund Freud, as it is a biological existence also and in same time,
We can't isolate the two systems! They both work together and simultaneously.
If u have something you don't understand just ask me.