So, my sister just called and said that she has been in the mental unit of the hospital since THURSDAY! Yeah, like 5 days! She said that she went in to see a new physician to try to get some meds and she said that apparently he thought she was more depressed than she was letting on so he put her in the hospital.
I knew she was depressed and getting increasingly angry since the death of our mother 2 months ago, but I didn't know it was this bad.
I am really glad she got sent there because I couldn't deal if she wasn't here at all.
Part of me is jealous because I would love to go away again (been before) for 5 days and just not have to think for myself and just get away from my life for a while, but I am so afraid that I would lose my job, then not be able to pay rent or bills, my boyfriend would leave (even though he swears he wouldn't), etc....
I want to just go away so badly. I just want this life to be over so that I can, possibly, start a new. I know this is not a possibility as I would never be able to do that to my family and BF. Besides, not knowing what happens after death scares me to no end!
Maybe my T will help me thru all of this, but I would NEVER tell her about my thoughts on myself. I will talk to her about my sister to see how to get thru all this.
I am so confused right now.