I believe you Will come through this-----I sounds like it would be very important for you to have someone you can talk things through with, and can contact the moment you begin to feel out of control or anxious you may spiral down---and a plan for each day that will help you through this difficult time. What supports do you have now?
Do talk to someone, every day if you can for a while. When you feel this way it does feel like it is your whole world/reality but it is NOT.