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This struggle you have, the mental fight between the logic of knowing its not your fault, but hating yourself because of what your life has become due to illness is so hard. I really feel for you.
I think it helps to differentiate the illness from who you are. It sometimes helps me, sometimes I have to accept my mind is going off on a tangent I don't have the mental strength to control. Those are tough days.
Your illness was thrust upon you without choice. You had no say. One day it was diagnosed and forever now a part of your life. Please remember you are, your core values, your essence hasnt changed. The ability to cope, ability to express and react to life has. That's because of this monkey, your illness, that you carry. Others cannot see it. That makes it 100 times worse because there's no validation that you have an illness.
If you can, roll with it. Don't fight those feelings. Allow them, validate them by accepting its real, it stinks and you hate the illness, the monkey. Get angry with the illness, allow sad, but I promise, its not your fault.
Youre a great person. That hasn't changed.
Xx
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Belly buttons. To be an Innie or an Outtie.
THAT is the question
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