So I've been working with my therapist for two years now and our relationship has been unconventional to say the least. I've thought of her as my mom, my sister, my friend and I even interned in her office for a short while. When I described the relationship to other mental health professionals they are like no, the relationship is toxic, it's unprofessional, it's hurting you, you should get away from it. But the problem is that there is no other therapists anywhere close by and she's the only one and I am really really attached to her. I have somehow managed to equate my whole existance and happiness around her and I feel that she is my best friend and the only person that can save me. However there has been no progress in our therapeutic relationship, I dont seem to be getting any better. My mom (who pays for my therapy) has said that she has lost all faith in my therapist and I should look for a new therapist.

So I told her this today and she was like maybe your mom is right. I told her how I feel that there is a disconnect between the two of us and that things are not the way they used to be. She said I was right, there is a disconnect and things are not the same because she has been trying to change the nature of our relationship and make it more client/therapist. Something it hasnt been in the past. And obviously that hasnt been working out. So now she believes that our therapeutic relationship cannot continue because it is too complex and messed up. She says that this does not mean she is abandoning me and she will always be there for me, even as just a friend.

But I still feel really upset. I love my therapist and she means the world to me, she knows so much about me and it just seems that we work so well together. I know that things havent been going well for me and everyone is so against our relationship but I dont want her to leave me. Things are so stressful and I need her, I need her to be there for me. I can't afford to lose my therapist now. I dont know what to do. I know the way I feel about my therapist is not really appropriate but she's my only chance. Why do I feel so abandoned again?

Any advice would really be appreciated.