He is showing you the pattern he follows where he binges and he is forty years old now, still living this same old pattern. This is exactly what I myself failed to see. Be good for a while, then begin being toxic again. Actually, a therapist explained exactly what I have been dealing with to me. This is something this ex has to work on, not anything YOU can fix or change. This ex needs to stop drinking and partying and learn to stop binging and it can take the rest of his life for him to correct or gradually change his behavior pattern. Some people never really change this pattern because they simply never learned how to work through their challenges. Instead they just learned to escape through their binge drinking/drugging.

Him seeing a therapist isn't going to JUST fix his problem. It can take the rest of one's life to break their unhealthy pattern even if they stop drinking or using drugs and see a therapist.

You can love someone and at the same time learn that person is simply never going to be healthy for you in a relationship.

There are lots of times I just sit and grieve in that I married a man thinking he loved me, that I would feel safe with him and I never really experienced that with him. The man I am married to can be so nice sometimes, his Dr. Jeckle and then I have to deal with his Mr. Hyde who can be mean and selfish and condescending and I just want that person to get away from me. It's always ALL ABOUT HIS DAMN DISEASE. He gives me a hard time sometimes when I ask him to help me, yet I watch him inconvenience himself to get a meeting together for some guy who is basically on house arrest because he got caught drunk driving too many times. Some man that had to put the alcohol before the life of others he put in danger when he insisted on driving drunk.

If I had known what I was getting in to, the years of challenge, I would have never married my husband.