I so understand the after work compulsion. Ugh. It's like my car drove to the liquor store all my itself like Chitty Chitty Bang Bang. I had nothing to do with it! Ha! Yeah, right.....And yes, I'd wake up ever morning, and say, this is the day I'm gunna stop. This is Day One.

Then I can be driving down the road, and off in the distance I swear I can see the Star of David shining in the distance...as i approach, I realize that it's just my brain's excitment at approaching a liquor store!! The closer I get, I begin to hear Lou Rawl's singing sexy songs to me....calling for me to come inside. Jeepers. How's a girl supposed to stay out????

Sometimes it's like I get in this trance and just drive there. Not sure I can explain it. I don't think at all. It's like just the alcoholic part of my brain is in charge. No other parts of my brain are "on". Very wierd sensation. A quite dissociative, imo.

Anyhow, for me the key is just like dieting, or with any other addiction - when you slip up...that doesn't mean it's over and you're a failure. It's just a day. The next day is a new opportunity. So, you try again. It's a life long thing. Yes, it sucks. I get REALLY sick of it.

It helps to make sure my friends IRL know so they don't offer me drinks. I don't go to parties where there is booze. I don't go to bars. If I'm feeling tempted, I'll skip any event, including weddings receptions, if there will be booze there. I'm not a public drinker, but I'd go right from there to the liquor store, then home for a private drunk fest.

The biggest temptation is just driving by Lou Rawls and those dang liquor stores. Thank goodness they don't sell wine in grocery stores in my state. I'd be screwed if they did. I feel sorry for all alcoholics in those states. They should have those aisles behind doors, imo. I'll bet that in those states they have higher rates of alcoholism.

Ok, I'm really rambling now....see, sober people are real chatty in the morning (no headache, no hangover, fully hydrated..... )

Big hugs, thanks for sharing!!

emmy