I can relate to that too. Theres this other aspect of N.ism tho, a milder version which I think I was more referring to, which is to do with the need to be like others and to be accepted, like the front that's put on to become liked and admired.
But the deep relationships bit, I do that too. That must be to do with a deep need ........... and for me relationships are difficult to maintain when I get close, theres usually a conflict wich capsises the relationship. How is it for you?