I have backed myself in a corner with those mistakes. It maybe hard for others to totally understand as I may leave info lose track points I try to make. I just have a hard time thinking my way out? The job is not the complete problem that I have. It's a lot of my depression anxiety I have brought to the job. I told myself I have to do this because I am forced because I am told to work if my parents are going to let me stay. So I am doing the job overwhelmed with my mental State has had me anxious, stressed from day one more anxiety and stress building up working for 6 to 7 months and just got to where I don't want to. I now procrastinate getting out of bed to where my dad has to tell me to go to work. I had episode like this 20 years ago I was kicked out of my parents not sure they understood the state of my anxiety. my brother let me stay with him. I can't do that now because he has a family now. I keep telling myself how long can i cope. I cry which i never have this much about how i have let things get. Its like i know what i have to do, like face the fears, i am so damn paralyzed by it from all sides to think straight get my emotions under control and really tackle them. I feel or tell myself i am not resilient, or confidence to go about things on my own. Really scary place to be when your told you have control of your mind thoughts decisions. Like I mentioned earlier feel paralyzed to make decisions with feeling overwhelmed. I was told by a counselor I saw who said I am only seeing things black and white. I just think that I am so overwhelmed to see through it. Not sure if anyone else has been so overwhelmed mentally you cant see what someone is telling you, and you are there in your own mind it is not making the bulb go off in your head? Like ah that makes sense, that's rational, etc?