I can somewhat relate to you, Lonelyinmyheart. I am an introvert person and emotions was not something that I learnt/saw when growing up. At the time of growing up I did not realize it and thought it was a normal childhood (despite the fact that as far as I can remember my parents rarely talked to each other or when they did, there was something negative about it. but mainly there was just silence). I did not feel too bothered about it back then, as it was my reality and I did not really know to want better. But I do realize now as an adult that not being able to show my emotions or express what I want/wish has caused very serious relationship problems for me. I am able to cry no problem - even too much. It is often kind of self-pity crying, which I would like to get rid off, but have not been able to. I have problem showing out anger, I have always gathered it inside me and been holding a grudge. When other people show anger, especially against me, then it scares me. And I totally block/close myself. I am also bad at showing out positive emotions like joy. I think I don't even feel them as strongly as other people do, but when I do then it is rather something internal that I am uncomfortable expressing - don't know how to do it. And I've been told that I am "fake" when I show them. Which in a way hurts but also makes me think that may be it is true and may be I am fake. I have read a lot about covert narcissism and wonder if it is me.