Quote:
Originally Posted by sarahsweets
Hey @Have Hope: I know you fairly well over my year being here at PC and I think I can say I know your strengths and have listened to your struggles. I think finding a therapist that shares your passion and ideals is really a good idea. It’s ok to have a therapist challenge you because I think that’s part of what therapy is. But to fundamentally disagree on prospects and beliefs like yours is almost ... toxic. I mean is she in the 21st century? Has she not had experiences with men in authority or been overlooked, belittled, talked over or ignored in any capacity. Is she even in a professional environment where that would happen? It sounds like she is a a status quo sort of person. That’s not awful but it’s obviously not useful for you or what you need. I know it’s a PITA to deal with getting a new therapist and dealing with schedules and insurance companies but I think you are on the right track in trying to enhance your therapy and work towards goals for your future. ((Hugs))
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Thanks, @
sarahsweets!
You are 100% correct. She does challenge me in good ways, and in ways that have been helpful. But yes, I believe that this kind of fundamental difference is HINDERING me, and perhaps is even harming me.
If I were a male, my ideas and approach would be perfectly acceptable within my company and in any corporation. I have said this to her.
When I called a meeting with my CEO to discuss my achievements over the last year (because he is largely unaware of them and because my boss is downplaying my achievements because he's threatened by me), well, my therapist told me not to march in there telling him "this is what I've achieved over the last year". She advised that I adopt a MUCH lower profile and say something along the lines of "this is what I've been working on over the last year". She said it comes across as narcissistic if I call out my achievements in the way I wanted to. So I told her, if I were a male calling out my achievements in that way, no one would take issue with it. It's only because I'm a female and you think I need to downplay my role and myself. Well, I told her I wasn't going to do that.
This is a perfect example of how we differ and of how she is.
It's soooooooo frustrating.
Yes, it's a royal pain to switch therapists, and I have limitations on choices, but even a male may be better for me than she is. In fact, a male may be preferable..... I have to act like one at work, and I may need a male perspective on how to be assertive.