Have you had former, healthier romantic relationships?

Every other person on here describes your issue perfectly.

Sadly, I am also someone who meets all the criteria for setting myself up in relationships with emotionally unavailable men too.

It feels like I am desperate to get them to love me. But they won’t or can’t. It’s unfulfilling.

I had a couple exes who were substance addicts, who also came a little close then darted away. My low self esteem and thirst to ‘win’ their love kept me going back. But nothing ever really materialized with them. I had non addicts exes who were pretty healthy relationships but I turned off to them. So, I have a theory that these unavailable men are safe because they will not commit and the available ones who will are too anxiety provoking because they will commit. IDK if this makes sense. Just my personal theory. The issue is within us.