I wish I've had some wise words. However, I can only say - listen to What Your Own Signature is saying! This Took Shall Pass. Do you have anyone who can assist you economically? Family, Friends? Please don't give up. It's a bumpy road but we can get through it. Hugs to You, My Friends! Keep Trying Your Best Like You're already WONDERFULLY DOING BY YOURSELF, OK?! Sending many safe, warm hugs to BOTH You, @MatBell, your Family, your Friends and ALL of your Loved Ones! Keep fighting and keep rocking NO MATTER WHAT HAPPENS, OK?!