Owllvr
Your consequences sound appropriate to me. Sometimes we do the best we can and our children make the wrong choices. This message is to me too.
The culture blames mothers for everything. I suppose they see mothers as all powerful on some level. I do not blame my mother as she had her limited view of things. At some point in time we take responsibility for our choices. So must our children.

How are you responding to her behavior? I was not assertive enough for a long time. I have made it clear now that I am owed an apology and amends. No less is acceptable. I am willing to discuss reasonable differences opinion. I will not discuss rewritten history.

I spoke to those who were around then and confirmed for my own sake that I was not abusive or unloving. That helped me to stay in reality and not succumb to gaslighting.