Quote:
Originally Posted by Have Hope
Hugs to you. Sounds like you know exactly what you need to do. Now you just need to take proactive steps to take care of yourself, your school studies and keep your life on track. Don’t let missing him derail you. And yes, maintaining your own sobriety is very important. This is something you will need to determine... it could easily become a codependent relationship and an unhealthy one that sets you back many steps as opposed to forward. You have to think of your own health and needs foremost. It’s important. It’s not easy when you feel in love, but it’s helpful to take on an objective stance on the situation to determine what’s really healthiest. And what will work best for you.
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My health IS the most important in this situation - and I've managed to do my schoolwork today and look forward to a day of job hunting tomorrow, so my head is screwed on a bit better than it was earlier, Thank God. Our relationship is going to be hard, I know it, especially since I've really committed to this person - I'm in it for the long haul. It's a dangerous situation all the way around because of both our illnesses and our struggles of addiction - two wrongs don't make a right but we both fell in deep with each other. Prayer has helped us through this because we both have a deep faith - its helped us especially since we both feel like disappointments in general but at least not to each other.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Open Eyes
LadyShadow, do you go to AA meetings so you can get support to stay sober? You can choose to go to women's meetings only at first too.
It is recommended not to get involved in a relationship until a person has a least a year of sobriety. It's hard if you get into a relationship with someone who also struggles with addiction. That being said, I also know some couples where they both work on their sobriety and go to meetings together and separately. Yet, these people are already couples.
I am wondering if this guy can find a "sober house" to live in instead of a group home where he encounters other's still using drugs or alcohol that can make it harder for him to stay sober. His chances would be better if he could live in a sober house where no one is using but instead committed to living their lives sober.
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That is one of the first things that I thought of. I know getting involved with someone when not yet sober is not the best of things to do nor is being with an addict, but we both are trying really hard in a world in which relationships weren't kind to us both. You're right a sober house is much better than where he's living - in fact his mom and one of the agencies are working on moving him by the time he gets out which is a hopeful step.
But honestly, I can't help but be selfish and miss him terribly.
Every day, is harder and harder.
