Still floating around in this post-hospitalisation. post-Christmas daze - but I am mostly happy. Yesterday I was trying on some old dress shoes in preparation for my cousin's engagement party. One of the straps was barely holding itself together. I love those shoes, and I have no money to buy new ones so I repaired them. This sounds like a simple thing, and it is, but for me it was a mile-stone. I haven't sown anything for years due to illness holding me back. I am not a confident, experienced sower. This is why I was so pleased that I successfully fixed my shoe. I accomplished something.

There are a lot of small positive changes in my thinking, behaviour, reactions, emotions, and cognition. A big shift certainly took place two weeks ago when I had that injection. It wasn't instant, and complete, but the PTSD has certainly calmed the f*** down. This is such a relief. Finally I feel the ability to truly hope returning. It is wonderful. I have a lot of work ahead of me, but also a lot of simple.good.life. For the last 21 years I have been in survival mode. Well the gears have shifted. Now I can build a life I am at peace with.