All the time. I have to get myself together. Carrying such weighty trust issues from a traumatic childhood....it has killed my relationship. I have to figure out how to let go and stop the madness. I look for things my boyfriend could be doing because I feel like noone is loyal, noone really cares. My stepfather molested me at 10 and my mom stayed married to him for 10 of his 27 years in prison. I am a mess and made my life a mess too.