Christmas was great as was Boxing Day (26th). But 27th/28th/29th I massively fell out with my family to the point I hid in my room until the latter part of yesterday. I've been in tears, I've been hurting myself, I've been thinking of walking away from my family, unfortunately and through regret ive been thinking of sui.

I'm not proud of my head. I'm ashamed. To top all this off I have had blinding headaches that is making the base of my skull sore I'm in excruciating pain. Painkillers don't help though. I've read up on it and I think its tension headaches but I don't know.

I hate Hogmanay (31st) and New Year's Day. I find it so depressing. I hate having to be happy for everyone. Being Scottish I'm meant to relish this time of year as it's a holiday here and we are reknown for our celebrating.

I don't know what's up with me. I'm all over the place (happy, sad, manic, depressed, angry, irritated, tired, hyper) I'm not sleeping so I guess that's not helping I'm lucky if I'm getting 4 hours a night. Been like this for about 10 days.

If I'm being honest I'm wishing I had done something stupid.... sorry guys for being doom and gloom at this happy time