Mat I think I’m quite a bit older than you so I’ll just share with you my own journey in regard to this subject, because it’s probably from a different perspective.

I used to want to have a high position in the world so I’d be respected by others. Degrees, that sort of stuff. I was bright enough, I thought, so why wasn’t I making it? Well - and it took me many years and mucho misteps to figure this out - first of all if I wanted to be a big cheese in the world it was probably going to involve a whole lot of self-promotion and a whole lot of socializing. Neither of which, to put it mildly, I was good at. In fact both were painful for me.

I kept wondering what was wrong with me. Was I autistic or what? Well, after many years of such agonizing I finally stumbled on the truth about myself by reading a little book which revealed to me my “diagnosis”. I was not insane or criminally twisted, I was simply a Loner. I simply don’t enjoy being around other people that much. I certainly don’t wish anyone harm, I simply prefer to do most things by myself. This very strong proclivity makes “success” pretty much impossible for me, and once I came to terms with that and accepted it once & for all, things kind of fell into place.

I don’t know what your personal journey will involve or what it is you want to do with your life, but I hope very much that you stick around to find out. (((( hugs ))))