I had my most mentally healthy trip home in a awhile. I've always been stressed and off balance mentally in recent trips and it's made it quite a struggle. Well, my brain was just better clicked in place this time. Not sure how else to describe it, but that really is the feeling I get, like things are back in gear. Saw family and friends and felt less paranoid towards my SO this time. Oh, and we were watching a family member's dog and he's so cute it just put me in a good mood. The trip back was stressful, but that's traveling for you. Hit some bad turbulence, and I did get anxious and my palms got all sweaty, but I managed to keep from total panic, so that's a positive. Definite improvement in the flight anxiety even if it's not gone. I am ready to see my psychiatrist and discuss what's going on. I just want some answers, but need to brace myself for the likely lack of answers I'll get just based on my record of seeing doctors for symptoms. I am spending NYE alone, but that's okay, I'll use the time to relax. Hope everyone is doing well, I know I haven't checked in in awhile. Sending compassion!