Maybe yes. Adulthood, true mature adulthood is difficult for us because of our models. We didn't witness give and take so we didn't internalize it, right? My model in parenting was an immature violent one as well. Both parents threw tantrums and my father was physically violent. So, to work through difficult feelings is something I don't know about. I am also trying to accept my feelings as being uniquely mine and know that it is okay to own them, to have them and to just be. Someone here told me it's tolerance (I think it was Echoes).

Sigh. Such a big mountain to climb.

The thing that has been such a huge help to me is my realization that I don't have to be mad at T to hold onto him. I wonder where I learned that? You have given me food for thought.

Peace