I'm sorry if this is not where I'm supposed to post this but I reckon its a bit too rant filled for creative corner and a bit too negative for the self esteem section. Sorry in advance if its so.



There was a time when you were always around, and I was always smiling,
In that one second, life turned on its head and I just kept on crying,
You didn't care or even look back and I felt as if I were dying...

Despite what I've written above, I've never experienced a break up or anything remotely as bad at least in the romantic sense. Though I feel as if I've been rejected by the majority of my paternal relatives or maybe it was used to feel because I really don't care anymore. I just wish I had the courage to tell them to their face how much they hurt me and pretty much screwed me over. That my pathetic-ness right now was a direct result of their actions. But I doubt they give a damn about it anymore. They'd probably just shrug it off and get on my parents' case to do something about me. How it was not their side of the family. As if!



You were supposed to give a damn, like me just the way I am.
Why didn't you? Was I really that bad?
You always measured me up against her and found me wanting,
Why couldn't you ever see me for me?
Why couldn't you ever accept me for me?
I always had to be as good as she,
Wasn't I good enough on my own?
Where do you get off judging me like that?
Where do you get off hurting me like that?
Why wasn't I ever good enough for you?
Almost all the problems I've got you were the beginning.
Is it guilty conscience?
Is that why you're around me so much?
Why you now ask after me?
I've ruined all my other relationships by now,
Because I don't want to be found lacking anymore,
Are you happy now? Are you content?
I still can't hate you, you know and I still crave your acceptance..........
For whatever foolish reason, one I can't seem to help,
One for which I just hate myself....
God damn you, but still not 'cause I still care and still not...
And I just hate myself even more.