As an adult estranged from a parent who didn't raise me, I think I'd be lucky to have a parent like you. So you are paying his mortage and he won't let you stay in the house you pay for.

I assume you are too tenderhearted to pull the rug out from under him and stop paying his mortgage. It's tough when you care more for someone that they do for you. It seems you are in a position to be taken advantage of.

The way you put it, I feel as if you are being strong armed into counseling to face accusations of being a bad parent. I would fimd it hard to give in to such a demand. You are already supporting him and you don't have to do that especially because you are getting nothing back. I don't know what I would do in your place. But I do feel that upporting an adult son and giving into his demands will probably not help him take responsibility for his life.

I think you must have been a great parent and I hope you will prioritize your needs and make sure you have a meaningful life whether or notnhe talks to you. If the counselor is good, it might be productive so long as he has not prejudiced the counselor into believing you are bad. So sorry you have to deal with this.