cottoncandy, many huggs (if wanted) goes out to you. In your original post, I seen so much pain and devistation. Please know we are here for you, my friend. I just got out of the psych. unit this morning (was there 4 days today) for my cutting getting extremely out of control. I, too, felt I was too far gone and couldn't be helped anymore. But because I seen the pain people were in from seeing MY open wounds and scars, I took that one last leap of HOPE, and I'm hoping that maybe this time I can go that extra mile. I will walk that mile with you too if you need it. (((huggz)))