My therapist unintentionally triggered me today when she brought up the fact I choose not to socialize. Now I'm left thinking about why I've chosen not to socialize. I am left thinking about all those times I was nice to everybody and they treated me like trash in return. Making fun of me, calling me stupid, telling me I'm ugly... Also, people asking me for favors and never giving anything in return, not even a simple "thank you" (which is all I care about really). Then all of my so-called "friends" in school ganging up on me at the same time and going from 12 "friends" to 0 in a heartbeat. You get it.

I don't know if my bipolar has interfered with my social relationships or if I am just a socially awkward person. Either way, i feel bad now.

It's like no matter how hard I try to make friends, no one likes me. That's why I haven't bothered trying to make friends for years now. It's like... why put yourself through that when you've been through that four separate times? Four times is not a coincidence. Maybe you can relate?