Quote:
Originally Posted by divine1966
He might not consider it cheating to be honest. So I think maybe he doesn’t consider it being dishonest that he didn’t share it.
My t said, and I agree with her, that even though spouses should be honest with each other, there is no need to be an open book about every little thing. Everyone deserves privacy especially about their past.
Unless it’s something very relevant to today’s life like criminal history/incarceration or illness/disorder or something contagious or substance abuse addiction, I feel there might be no need to disclose. When people meet later in life it’s only understandable they had all kind of relationship experiences, some of which they might not be proud of and wish they didn’t do.
Not all of it needs to be known and revealed especially if it makes no difference today. I’d focus on how he behaves now. How transparent he is and how he lives his life and his he treats you. If something bothers you in his behavior now, address it but don’t dwell on whatever happened years ago before he met you or whatever third parties do.
This is just my take on it.
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Yeah...I hear you.
Well, as I had mentioned above or before, he hasn't fully been honest with me at all times. Or rather, he hasn't fully disclosed some important details, and only later do I find out the full truth.
Once, I lent him my credit card to buy himself a birthday gift. I had previously asked him to never just use my card without asking me first. Well, he bought himself a $150 gift, which I thought was the extent of the charge. The next night, without asking me to use my card again, he charged another $150. He didn't tell me about it either; I had to find out by seeing the charge come through by email, so I got angry.
This is just an example of where he has done something that has injured my trust in him.
In the beginning while we dated he told me he never cheated on his ex wife. Then it turns out he did cheat. Maybe it wasn't "cheating" in his mind, but it was cheating and he should have known that it was.
I trust him for the most part, but these little incidents have chipped away at my trust, and on top of having a trust issue myself already, trust is an issue between us.