I don't know about subliminal messages. I think T's are pretty direct. But I know myself and I tend to look for hidden meanings and messages and have asked T about them.

I think it's really thoughtful that he chose someone familiar with your issues. You are dealing with your issues but so is your son indrectly, so it's relevant to his evaluation.

Also borderline mothers can raise borderline children so that's another good reason for choosing her.

Have you and T talked about DBT? Could you tell him about your thoughts here?

My T did mention DBT when I asked if borderline applied to me and she said yes. She mentioned Linnehan books (I like to read psychology books) and DBT and I told her I had read about it and I thought it was just a version of CBT which I didn't find helpful so I would not do. She wasn't offering, she doesn't do it, but it felt like she was maybe pointing me in that direction.

Anyway I admire you for taking such good care of your son!