Hey Hope,

It's funny but this is an issue in my relationship too. My boyfriend has MAJOR trust issues and abandonment issues because of years of being cheated on and just left out of the blue. This is a hard issue for me, especially since I am not doing anything wrong and constantly feeling like I am being "accused" and always having to be on the defensive.

He has gotten better about it - but every now and then something we resolved from months ago would come up and tick me off like hell or high water. Not letting go of things is big too.

I guess what I am saying is I empathize - because I am in your husband's situation, (sort of), and what I can tell you is that I won't ever be pushed into cheating because he constantly thinks I am, but I would leave him one day based on that - telling him that hit hard because my argument was "why would I spend my life defending myself from the person I love?" That really made a dent but doesn't help his insecurities. I am lucky in the fact that he doesn't snoop, care about my phone, or show up at my house unannounced. He even respects my privacy when we spend time apart. I guess it will become more intense when we get married, but I have managed to deal with most of it thus far.

I am worried about the credit card and the kiss your husband didn't mention. But omitting things is so commonplace in relationships, even though the credit card thing is pretty bad.

I hope you get a new therapist soon. And if you guys are still fighting, like others have said, step back for a while, don't let it escalate too much - regrets happen.