Home (not a problem per se, I had enough partys in my life)

Desperatly regretting 2017 because I failed to grip and it went particularly bad in the last two years (serious reasons). I'm always quite ok during Christmas and New Year's Eve, but this time I have a bad black hole of helplessness and non-sense behind me
I wasn't ready, this time
I'll keep having dark fantasies on time rewind and being sorry

I'm just hoping people around will be ok