Hello... my name is James. I'm the system host. Though I guess I haven't been much of a host lately. Been having stress nightmares but I think I'm OK now... Made it out just in time for new year ESPLOSIONS! I'm glad I didn't miss the esplosions... I think it could be triggering for some people so that's why I'm purposely saying it weird and not using the actual word. I can spell it I'm just trying to say it in a funny non-triggering way.

That's probably the first thing you should know about me is I have a weird sense of humor and it helps me not to think about other things. I use to work in theater and I have a YouTube channel which I rarely post on because of dissociation and depression making it really hard to film and upload videos. I would like to be able to upload more regularly because it's freaking impossible to build an audience when I can only post maybe once or twice a year.


Another reason I can rarely ever film anything is because I'm always at my ex-girlfriend's house.


Not sure if I should be looking for couples therapy because technically we're not a couple anymore and never will be again. But it is in the best interest of the child that we maintain some form of civil relationship... that's the only reason I put up with her. But I need her to give me some personal space and show some respect. I need her to actually ASK me when I can babysit instead of TELLING me and holding me emotionally hostage. And most importantly I need her to stop over sharing triggering information. She won't listen to me so maybe if a licensed therapist tells her to do the things I've already asked her to do a million times she might actually listen.

Just to be clear, the child is safe. The one thing we both still agree on is that we want to do what's best for him. We always remain civil in front of him so there's no reason to be concerned about that. The issue is just between us in the way she over shares triggering information and in a way kinda treats me like a slave rather than an equal. I have talked to her about this before but nothing has changed... other than Elen splitting off and being the one who mostly deals with her nonsense cause I can't anymore.

In case anyone is confused... DID only forms from childhood trauma. However when you already have DID new alters can split off at any age due to trauma or stress. So Elen forming as an adult just because I'm having relationship issues doesn't make her any less valid than any other alter who formed in childhood.