Hi Paper Roses. Sorry for the loss of that active relationship with your children. The most difficult a mother faces is the loss of a child either to death or separation. A child is always a child to a mother no matter what they do.

The only thing I found I can control is my own expectations and reactions to situations. By adjusting those, I am less overwhelmed by unexpected circumstances.

There are many possible reasons why they act the way they do. Could be their biological father is controlling them and filling their head with untrue things. Could be that they are fighting for their independence. The list goes on.

I see the senior lounge has active posts in last day or two. The link is here https://psychcentralforums.com/seniors-lounge/
@CANDC