Hi bluebicycle. I definitely relate, and think it was ignorant that your therapist said what she said. If I could advocate on your behalf, I would have a good talk with her to educate her on this subject.

I do not have a diagnosis of social anxiety, but I do have some symptoms of it with some people. Like you, mine developed as a result of various social rejections, especially in my youth. In another thread, a couple days ago, I mentioned how I often put a glass wall between myself and certain other people (not all). It's all related to trust issues because I was burned so many times in painful ways by certain people. The glass wall, itself, deters certain people from getting close to me, or wanting to. My bipolar disorder behavior has also been harmful in terms of developing and maintaining relationships. If a therapist told me it was simply "my choice", I would react similarly as you have. It's really no different than telling depressed people that they have a choice to be happy. Or an anxious person that they have a choice not to be anxious. Such statements sound more like ones who come from a family member that knows nothing about mental illness. It's rather shocking if/when such a statement comes from a mental health professional. It makes me wonder if her statement is born from poor training or from her own issues. Or both.