I went to bed at 5pm yesterday because I was feeling so awful. However, I didn't fall asleep until about 7pm because I spent 2 hours crying because of all the bad memories. Then I randomly woke up at 12:06am and realized it was the new year. I heard fireworks and people celebrating, but I just wasn't feeling it.

I still feel bad today. I feel especially pathetic because I cried on and off throughout the day and into the night. I thought I'd feel better today, but no, I feel the same.

Sorry for b_tching. I just wish I could celebrate the new year with happiness and joy. However, I'm sure things will get better. They always do. I am clinging onto that hope.