(((MrsA))), I am sorry you have been dealing with such a toxic older sister. From what you have shared, your sister has made it a point to "control" everything from the business you both have, to the money and the home you live in. Anything you say to her, any request or suggestion is met with her responding very negatively. She won't even allow you to try to pay down your credit card and instead insists on controlling what happens with that too, taking that over like it is "hers". She has even put in efforts to take over your friends and try to see if she can get them to dislike you.

The more you describe your sister, the more I can see similarities to how my older sister behaves and it's VERY disordered and she can get VERY twisted and abusive. You are suffering just like your sister's dog who worries and is stressed to the point where the dog literally pees and poops all over out of stress. Whatever this personality disorder is, the person tends to blame everyone else and there is this need to be superior and nothing you try even if what you suggest is right, only she is right no matter what.

It's very hard to fight back with this kind of individual. They tend to position themselves as being the one who controls and they do this mentally as well. I believe you and I believe your sister tries to take over everything and finds ways to put you in the role of "not being worthy" and if there is a problem she finds ways to blame you.

I do believe that you don't have the means to get away from her and that you have to deal with her because otherwise you would be homeless. That even when it comes to making money, your sister controls the business and insists on running how whatever money comes in SHE controls. It's not so EASY to get help for what you are dealing with. Also, there can be "shame" to admit how bad things are and that you have not been able to stand up to her or change how toxic things are yourself. Also, your sister tends to isolate you and takes anything you can have that helps you have power away from you. She controls the car the two of you share too. And she wants you to feel bad about yourself, because that's what abusers do, they abuse their victim mentally too insisting their victim feel they are unworthy and useless.

I can see that you spin your wheels to try and figure out how you can do some things "your" way. That you found some side work and hope you can pay down your debt and you can't seem to even get that to work for you.

Well, at least you can come here and vent how you are being abused, you ARE being abused MrsA. I am not sure who you can talk to about this and you may need to reach out to an abuse hotline to see if there is a way you can get help without facing even more abuse. It's not so easy to walk away when the abuser controls everything like what you have shared here. Unfortunately, abusers manipulate everything to make sure they have the upper hand and their victims have no real escape.

That being said, if you have your own phone, I suggest you take pictures and see if you can even record the abusive things your sister says to you. It's not so easy to break free of this kind of abusive controlling person.