Well, this morning, I feel exACTLY like I used to after a brutal and endless night running the trauma service in Nashville. Abso-lutely hammered. Clean and sober--not to worry. But just fried from my current ordeal. I had forgotten how awful and dysphoric and hopeless it feels to be way, way past the point of exhaustion, while still having to function. Of course, back then, I would at this time of day be finishing rounds and getting ready to head to the OR for a yet-additional day of torment. Being told I was an idiot. Possibly being punched in the middle of an operation. Far worse stuff I can't even write cuz it will just freak people out. Def. being screamed at once or twice. And I was one of the ones they loved!!

Fortunately, I don't really have to do anything today. I just cannot fall asleep. So, it's weird for me today. Lots of reminiscing of my Vanderbilt days. Very bittersweet. Some of my happiest and proudest days and absolutely, some of the darkest. Oh well...