This is what your alcoholic parent did with you too, expected you to live around HER condition. This is a form of narcissistic abuse because alcoholism is a disease that has many selfish narcissistic aspects to it. An alcoholic is an individual that learns how to push buttons to get another person to mother them too. These individuals do not have adult skills, they tend to only have the maturity level of the age they began to escape facing challenges by drinking and drugging.

You simply cannot FIX a person like this, not your mother, not this ex bf. It's going to take stength for you to stay firm on your decision to keep this guy completely out of your life. It's going to be especially hard when you feel lonely. This is where doing charity work or joining some kind of social club can help because you will have an outlet you can socialize in and if you are caring, joining some kind of charity can be a place you can use your caring in a healthier way.