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sarahsweets · Jan 02, 2020, 04:56 AM

Hi @Feelnscared:

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Originally Posted by Feelnscared

Hi Everyone. I have no one to talk to and just need my story out there. I'm still married to the woman I love with a 3yrld and 7yrld. I've always been faithful and try insanely hard everyday to do what she wants to make her happy. Typical day for me...get up, make breakfast, get my 7yrld ready for school, take him, take my younger one to the library or park, make lunch, usually prepare dinner so it's easy for my wife to feed them later, clean around the house, go to work, come home, get them ready for bed.... Everyday I do this and usually take them to sports classes or dance twice a week. Then I do something fun on the weekends... I feel like I'm being taken advantage of. My wife usually does the laundry but I've been doing that the past month too. She says she has no time but she has time 6am to about 3 or 330pm everyday!

has it always been this way?

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NOW, here are the big issues.....She spends $500 or more per month on wine. Drinks every night and becomes violent, mean, obnoxious, etc.. 1 bottle or more pee night, has to be at least 14% alcohol. A few years ago was asleep in her Van passed out. Another time I had to hold her down to keep her from hitting me, she hit my ear so bad she blew my eardrum and J was bleeding and didn't hear right for a year.

As an alcoholic mom in recovery I can tell you I identify with what you are saying. I didnt become an alcoholic until my late 30's and was up to three bottles of wine a day at the end. I hid a lot of it from my family. I am a stay at home mom and all my kids were in school during the day. I drank from the minute I woke up (4am) until I went to bed. I fought with my husband and scared my kids. I am also bipolar and even though I was taking meds the alcohol totally made those meds useless. If she is drinking that much and you know its 500$ per month[/ quote]I would bet she is drinking more and you just dont know about it. I was beligerant and aggressive when I was drinking too.

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2nd, she's extremely jealous. If we are at a beach and a good looking woman in a bikini is near, she'll make us move...I have no interest and my wife is gorgeous to me! There are many crazy examples. 3rd, She's horrible with money, she sold her previous house, had about 250000 and burned through it on I don't know what in
About 4 or 5 years. She didnt have insurance on her house for 2 years and the mortgage company found out. I had to get her insurance. She didnt pay her water bill forever, so I had to pay $3000 for it. I pay all our bills, mortgage, food, etc and she has the nerve to always call me cheap. I bought her s $90 pair of sunglasses (which she liked) along with other stuff for Christmas and she found out the glasses were $90 and made me return them to by her a $250 Kate Spade pair. I spent $500 on gifts for our kids and she spent another $2000 on gifts for them without telling me!

Are these your kids? What I mean is you talk of what you had to do to help her with her house so was this when you two got together?

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Finally, she's had some stress this year from family and she snapped. One day she suddenly was accusing me of everything like having a other instagram account, I showed her it was some other guy. Then she started saying there are cameras all over our house and acting insane saying there are videos of us online. She even took videos in the park of other parents she said were videoing our kids.... I honestly think she is a paranoid schizophrenic. She seemed to get better and couldn't believe she was even hallucinating. She said she'd get help but still hasn't.
The oast 2 weeks she says she wants to split up. I don't know how I still have the strength to try but I still remember the great things about her and I still love her. Am I insane? Should I give up? Seems like I'm the only person willing to try in our relationship. I'm so worried for our two amazing kids. If I knew 100% I'd get custody I'd be a little less scared. But I have no idea how it will work.
It would make sense I would. But I'm sure she'll make up something.

Its tempting to want to diagnose her with a mental illness and she may have one but alcohol will do these things to people. it can make them paranoid and irrational which is why I think she is drinking more than you know. Have you tried giving her an ultimatum about getting treatment? If she is drinking that much she needs a medical detox even if its for 5 days but inpatient for at least 30 I feel will be more helpful. They have dual diagnosis programs both outpatient and inpatient that deal with mental illness and addiction.
You are going to have to give her consequences for the sake of your children. Even if you think everything is hidden from the kids they know.