Ahh...look at what you wrote. You are still bargaining. Still focused on him and what he's done to you. Right now, you are trapped in this addictive relationship. So, try those writing exercises tonight and every day if you need to.

I find that the act of physically writing -- not typing -- activates my brain in a way that actually calms me down and helps me focus. It also activates my memory center of my brain (I sound like a nerd but this is how I sound to myself) and I can recall information much faster and more accurately when I hold a pen in my hand and write on paper.

So, I think if you try these writing exercises daily, you may notice a change in how you feel. Add some AA support meetings (those are offered every day, every where), a therapist, and soon you'll be on your way to breaking free from this addictive relationship. It's going to take a lot of work but I know you can do it.