Quote:
Originally Posted by just2b
Try asking yourself why do i feel jealous? And when you found out why, ask yourself ask yourself again why? What is your own definition of being successful?
So far i am learning to start questioning why i feel certain ways, and to keep asking myself why and how. It stems from somewhere.
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Thank you Just2be. I have already started doing what you advise.
From what I can understand, the main reason I feel jealous is that due to my personal circumstances, I don't even have the opportunity to achieve some of the things T has that I'm jealous of, even though if I tried them, I might decide I don't want them anyway.
For example, I don't have the financial means to travel and I'm unable to due to my anxiety disorder which would just make the whole experience unpleasant anyway. I would probably end up having a panic attack and want to return straight home. However, for all I know, if I WAS able to travel because I could afford to and I didn't experience crippling anxiety, I might discover it wasn't for me anyway and therefore would no longer be jealous.
I think as well it has to do with what other people think. In my experience, people are always drawn to other people that are doing interesting and exciting things - like travelling! - whereas I am just boring and nobody wants to hear what I have to say and to be honest, I actually don't have much to say anyway so I guess I'm also jealous of the fact that the things I see that T has are things which other people are interested in and drawn to whereas I am a recluse and an outcast.
I know the way forward is to care less what other people think. If I'm boring, I'm boring and that's ok but it's the isolation that comes with it that I find hard to deal with.
Sorry for the long post and thanks for reading if you get this far. I'm just finding it really helpful to get this c**p out of my head and into words.