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Old Jan 02, 2020, 07:50 PM
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Wise Elder
 
Member Since: Dec 2017
Location: Eastern, USA
Posts: 9,733
Quote:
Originally Posted by TishaBuv View Post
“IF I could get that unavailable, emotionally abusive man to just show me that he loved me, and bend over backwards with apologies and love, then I would feel worthy of his love and of anyone's love.”
^Yup, this is where it all stems from when you’ve had emotionally unavailable early childhood role models, alcoholics or not.

Hugely wise and insightful comments on this thread, but the reality of kicking this addiction is HARD.

Normally, I don’t suggest blocking people. But in your case I would block, unfriend, and delete his number so you can’t call him in a moment of weakness.

You can text him that this relationship is unhealthy for you, you are going to work on yourself and to not contact you again. Then DELETE HIM.
Yes it is. Isn’t that really what it comes down to? Trying to obtain the love from an adult who mirrors the parent, the parent who never gave the love to begin with. And when we’re deprived of love as kids, as adults we never feel worthy. We go knocking on the same door over and over again, and fail over and over again. It’s the parent who failed the child. And then it’s the child who needs to find healing, self worth and self love.
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"Twenty-five years and my life is still trying to get up that great big hill of hope for a destination"

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