I have DID (Dissociative Identity Disorder), which can, at times, have its benefits such as: A wider perspective but the lack for empathy. Overall, I could be considered a high functioning and productive member of society. However, there's one small problem... my other personality is a high functioning sociopath. Her exterior is the same as mine, except for the beam of hatred being directed at anyone, constantly anger due to past events, a laundry list more of other flaws. The worse part of all of that is: her manipulative nature and high intelligence. Awhile ago, I lived with my aunt and she was 'trying' to be manipulative and I played along knowing full well what she was trying to do, until a week later and became bored playing cat and mouse with a child.

I saw through every move she tried and failed at, and I became insulted, I guess, by her poor decisions to practically imprison me in her house obligations. I felt insulted because she gave those who resisted being manipulative a bad name. To be honest, I could go back and have her wrap around my finger, I don't however because it is a waste of time and boring to me.

Once I began to think of the ways I could manipulative my original persona returned and I'd just about forgotten all of it. I guess as a safeguard it is just something my mind does. Every time I look at people I see them as bridges, no matter how silly or dumb hey be, they become like potential in my eyes. Honestly, I strongly dislike both halfs of myself, my original because it is capable of being a functioning sociopath and my other half because it is sociopath, exactly what I don't like.

My other half says it is the result of a painful past that I refused to forgive but only forgot because I shifted it away, and that I should accept it as a part of me. That it is in pain everyday, constantly reliving it while I carry on. But how can I accept a part of me, much less love, that I don't want to be?