For me going to escorts in order to make them do oral sex to me is not something my fiance is guilt of, or because something is lacking from her in my regard.

I consider her as my soul mate, my dream partner

I am sure any other woman I could have been with, would had been the same situation.

Going and doing this kind of things is like an addiction for me, doing something from impulse and to "escape" of stress and routine.

Like if I would have been addicted to gambling - that would have not mean I do not love her, no?