That's rough, Cardoony!

Unfortunately, bosses like this have been the bane of my life.

The worst one I ever had sounds just like this woman.

Sadly, no amount of figuring them out helped in any way.

With my CPSTD, I still find bosses hard to deal with, but if I have a problem with one these days, I know what I have to do.

Firstly, jot down brief dates and notes about their behaviour. Or hit record it on your phone as soon as she appears.

Next, start feeling out a colleague to see if any would back you up in any way if you made a complaint. They'll probably be too scared. In the past, I asked if I could use their comments anonymously, and that seemed to help. For example, one part-time colleague was getting tummy troubles (diarrhoea - sorry!) every day before she came into work.

Focus not on 'proving' anything. That could just be too complicated in your emotional state. The aim is to truthfully show the effect this woman is having.

That way, it isn't about right or wrong.

You'll absolutely know that you are just being honest.

The fact that you're not sleeping because of her is another powerful tool in your arsenal.

I found that, once I started speaking to colleagues about my boss, there was a sort of snowball effect. People were keen to share their own misery! Suddenly, I had two colleagues who had allowed me to quote them. And the first felt so encouraged by my standing up to this person that she at the last minute said I could use her name.

So, the choices for you then are to either:

1. Make a complaint.

2. Ask for a meeting with her and let everything out.

I did the latter.

OMG, it is hard.

But I was angry by this point, and tired of feeling ashamed of myself for all the times I'd been submissive and frightened in her presence.

Anyhoo, that is what I do these days as soon as I have a problem with a work superior. I ask for a meeting and blurt out everything that's bothering me.

It seems impossible when you have never done it. But it feels fantastic afterwards. Because, you're defending yourself