Hello, Paper Roses. I'm glad I happened to find your post. Are your children involved in the "NC" (no contact) trend?
I have two adult children, my daughter (34) and my son (31). Thank the universe for my son, who is a mature and kind-hearted man. My daughter...another story.
In a few paragraphs: My daughter and I were as close as a mom and daughter could be. We were definitely mother and daughter, but also best friends. My kids grew up in a very loving and supportive home, absolutely nothing abusive. I was an at-home mom, which I loved. My husband worked full time.
In 2017 my daughter decided to go to grad school and I was very happy for her. But she was under a lot of pressure and feeling anxious and stressed. She has always struggled with anxiety and had regularly seen a therapist when she was growing up, to learn how to live with anxiety and cope in healthy ways.
I suggested that my daughter see a therapist for a "tune up"...to refresh some coping skills around the stress of dealing with being a grad student. So, she did reach out and find a therapist.
Well, her therapist told my daughter that she "needed a break" from having a mentally ill mother. Such BS. I have always been in treatment, worked hard at being stable, and I can honestly say that my kids were not burdened by my mental illness at all. If anything, I modeled for them how to work on having good mental health.
In addition to her therapist, my daughter's husband (who was raised in the foster care system and has a very shaky notion of what 'family' means) encouraged her to stop being close to me.
On November 6th, 2018 my daughter completely cut off all contact with me. She calls her dad (my husband) about every 8 weeks. But that's it...no contact with her family (a occasional bit with her brother, but not much).
My world is shattered from my daughter's NC. She's paying her therapist a handsome sum and honestly, I have serious doubts about the integrity and/or talent of the woman. I have no idea of when (if ever) my daughter plans to communicate with me again. The situation is the very definition of batshit insane.
So, there's my story. I hope you see this. You are not alone.